Whether you have officially reached dating app burnout or have no interest in the online scene, rest assured that hope is not lost. There are plenty of ways to meet an eligible partner (read: someone who is not creepy, ridden with red flags, or your ex) without downloading and paying for apps. And, we know first-hand that going out every night of the week hoping to meet that special someone in a bar can get exhausting. Read on to learn more about the dating app alternative that can save you time and heartbreak: a trusted matchmaker.
No, we are not talking about your mom’s friend’s neighbor’s cousin who knows someone who would be “just perfect for you”… eye roll. We are talking about professional matchmakers. These dating experts seek complementary partners for those who are serious about finding someone to spend their time—and life—with.
Before you cringe at the “old school” idea of matchmaking, hear us out. Many people have found their significant other on a dating app, so there is no shame in the swipe game. But it’s not for everyone, and that is OK. We reached out to a professional matchmaker for all the details:
Anyone can use a matchmaking service
Rori Sassoon, the CEO of a New York-based matchmaking company, says that “matchmaking is right for anyone who is ready to find love—especially when they are in a place of confidence and comfortability.” It doesn’t matter what age you are, what your occupation is, or anything of that nature, but what does matter is your relationship with yourself. Rori emphasized, “If a person does not love themselves, then how can they expect to find and receive love?” And to that, we slow clap.
The bottom line is this: If you are confident in who you are, what you want, and what you can bring to the table in a partnership, a matchmaking service is suitable for you. But if you’re not, you need to nurture your relationship with yourself before you can begin a relationship with someone else.
Matches are not based on an algorithm
Unlike the good ol’ algorithms we know and love to hate in the online world, a matchmaking service takes an intuitive approach to matching two people. According to Rori, they consider each person’s personality traits, values, and preferences, and they “focus away from the surface level and dive deep into what makes each person individually unique.” This allows you to meet people who you might not have met otherwise. “Matchmakers dedicate a great deal of time to aligning two individuals’ values and preferences,” explained Rori.
You don’t have to do the vetting
Constantly swiping left and right puts a strain on your thumb, your brain, and your heart, so why not outsource the vetting to a professional? Rori says she can “easily identify who is looking for a fun time rather than a life-long partner,” which is crucial since we’re not out here trying to waste time with someone who doesn’t have good intentions. In all honesty, there is only so much you can learn about someone from their dating profile or the hour of conversation you had with them at the bar. It’s not uncommon to be misled and, thereby, disappointed.
Alternatively, if you are ready to date but complain that no one “meets your standards,” it might be time to receive guidance from a seasoned professional. Rori explained that “excessive pickiness will literally lead a person toward slim pickings.” So, you might be better off letting someone else guide you in your love life rather than continually searching for someone who checks all of your boxes.
You have support throughout the process
On dating apps, you are “matched” with people, but from there, you’re on your own. It’s totally on you (and them) to keep up a conversation, plan a date, and take your relationship to the next level—but it doesn’t have to be this way. Matchmakers provide support throughout the process, whether that is by helping you with first-date jitters or finding the confidence to show off your best self. And since dating experts are begging us to stop taking advice from our friends, having an expert to turn to is pivotal.
A matchmaking service is safe and secure
The scariest thing about dating isn’t the potential for rejection or uncovering someone’s toxic relationship habits. It’s the fact that you literally do not know the person you are about to spend your time with. Stranger danger, anyone? Rori assures us that “matchmakers act as a trusted third-party alternative to online dating” and that safety is at the top of their list. While horror stories are few and far between, they still exist, and that’s not something to take lightly. If you want to be extra cautious, you can put your trust in a professional matchmaking service that has your best interests—your safety and security—at heart.