Sex & Relationships

7 Lessons I’ve Learned From Four Seasons of ‘Love is Blind’

written by EMILY DUMAS
Source: @jellybean.colleen
Source: @jellybean.colleen

When Love is Blind first came out in 2020, I thought it was an insane concept. Dating people through walls, in pods, without knowing what they look like? But it’s that insanity that made me want to binge-watch every episode, follow the cast on social media, and read every article about the show on the internet. So, you know, normal reality television lover behavior.

On Love is Blind, we see relationships go in all different directions. We see couples have successful relationships, breakups in the pods, and even endings at the altar. We also see how families and friends interact with cast members and their significant others. While there is plenty of drama in Love is Blind that makes the show addicting, the relationships show us a lot of green flags as well as lessons to learn from the show.


1. An emotional connection is a strong relationship foundation

One of the things I love about Love is Blind is the general premise—all relationships begin from a strictly emotional connection. This allows the contestants to get to know one another on a deeper level without physical attraction skewing their first impressions. Part of the reason we see these couples falling for each other so fast is because they spend hours upon hours getting to know one another—finding little things they have in common, sharing stories, and building deep connections. When you focus on an emotional connection over a physical connection, you truly get to know the person without forming an initial opinion based on what you usually find attractive in a partner.


2. Body language is just as important as verbal conversation

The downside of dating someone through a wall is that you don’t get to see their body language. When you can only hear someone, not see them, you can miss out on some of the main messages they’re communicating to you. Body language includes everything from facial expressions, eye contact, mannerisms, posture, and more, which is why it’s so important to observe when you’re first getting to know someone.

When you’re on a first date (or any date), keep an eye on body language so that you can truly understand what your date is saying. It’s a bit of subtext into what a person is thinking or feeling at the moment, which is missing from the dates in the pods.


3. Confidence comes from within, not from others

The thought of going on a reality dating show seems exciting if you’re ready to find love and settle down. But are you really ready? Through the years, we’ve seen a few people enter the pods and have a tough time finding love because they were subconsciously hoping that a relationship would fulfill their needs. When the truth was they needed to focus on loving themselves first.

Before you embark on a journey to find love, take the time to love yourself first. Get to know yourself and truly understand what you want and need in life, both from yourself and from a partner. It might sound like repetitive advice, but loving yourself and romanticizing the life you have before sharing it with someone else can make all the difference in how you feel in a romantic relationship.


4. It’s important to ask the tough questions early on

The people on Love is Blind are spending only 10 days getting to know one another before getting engaged, so they’re in a bit of a time crunch to find out if their values and ideas for the future are aligned. In season 3, Alexa and Brennan had to discuss family and religion in depth, because Alexa wanted to honor her values of being a Jewish woman. Despite the shortened time frame, Brennan said he would convert to Judaism for Alexa.

While the time frame on Love is Blind is wildly sped up compared to that of a typical relationship, it’s important to always ask the important and tough questions early on. Having these tough conversations about religion, values, future plans, and families early on can help make or break your relationship.



5. People will show you who they are early on 

Over the years, there have been many couples I thought I loved from the pods, including Shake and Deepti (S3). While in the pods, Shake made comments about women’s weight and physical appearance, asking if the women he was talking to were small enough to be carried on his shoulders at a music festival, which was…oddly specific. As viewers, we were a little skeptical of him, but Deepti really liked Shake, being attracted to his positive attributes, and we were all rooting for her to find happiness. At the end of the day, Shake really was showing his true self in the pods, and Deepti deserved better.

As if Deepti were our friend, we were hoping Shake would settle down once they were out of the pods and they would have a loving relationship. But he truly did show us who he was early on. He couldn’t get over his initial impression of Deepti being one year older than him and not being his type physically. Although he “tried”, he ultimately admitted he wasn’t attracted to her and that she reminded him of his aunt rather than a love interest. Then, when the wedding didn’t work out, he tried to treat the day as a party for him rather than a loss to love.

When you meet someone, if they’re doing or saying things that make you second guess them, go with your gut. A good friend of mine always told me that you can’t date potential; you need to accept people as they present themselves.


6. Lust can cloud your judgment 

In the latest season of Love is Blind, we saw Zack fall for two women, Irina and Bliss, ultimately choosing to propose to Irina at the end of their time in the pods. Although he loved Bliss, he lusted for Irina, unfortunately causing him to make the wrong choice. Though, we’re all very happy that, in the end, Zack and Bliss reconnected and are now happily married!

There is a big difference between love and lust. In fact, there’s such a difference between the two that I spent an entire semester of college learning about the different types of love, lust, and limerence that a person has the potential to feel throughout their lifetime. Many people confuse love and lust, which we see a lot of on shows like Love is Blind. Lust has the potential to lead to love but make sure to take the time to fully understand your feelings before you jump to any conclusions or big decisions.


7. Love is more than an emotion—it’s a choice

The biggest lesson we can learn from Love is Blind is that love is a choice. To love someone is to accept them as they are, with their positive traits as well as their flaws and everything in between. We’ve seen some strong couples come out of Love is Blind—Lauren and Cameron, Tiffany and Brett, Chelsea and Kwame, and Alexa and Brennan, just to name a few. These couples chose each other, they chose to put in the work, and they continue to strengthen their love every day.