"When you have an endless amount of emails in your inbox awaiting a response, unread text messages demanding your attention, and piled up laundry begging to be folded and put away, little things like hugging your partner or telling them how much you care about them can easily fall to the back of your mind. And when this goes on for a few days (or weeks), feeling disconnected from your partner can happen easier than you intend it to. How do I know this? Well, I’ve been there—and I’m willing to bet you have been too.
If I’m right (and I think that I am about this) and you’re wondering how to reconnect with your partner when your everyday stressors become too much, I am sharing the ways that I personally count on to help me reconnect with my own partner, and lucky for you, they don’t involve a grand gesture or a great deal of your time—since I know that you might not feel like you have a lot of that right now. These tips are simple, but trust, they are meaningful and will make all the difference. By implementing one or three or all of these ways throughout your days and weeks, I am certain that before you know it, you will feel more connected to your partner, so without further ado, ahead are the ways that you can reconnect with your partner when everyday stressors have gotten in the way.
1. Send a heartful text
There is nothing better than receiving a sweet and unexpected text from your partner—especially when you’re having a bad day or when you’re stressed out. Take a minute to let them know you are thinking about them. You can say something like “I hope you’re having a great day so far! I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and feel so lucky to have you by my side,” or “This week has been crazy so far, but what’s keeping me going is knowing that I get to see you soon.” These messages always go a long way by making the other person feel valued, and they only take a minute or two to send.
2. Go for a long walk
Leave your phones (and responsibilities) at home and head outside for some fresh air and a long walk around the block. Without any distractions, this low-key activity allows you to spend quality time with your partner. Catch up on each other’s week, laugh, and take a much-needed deep breath. By the end, I’m willing to bet that the endorphins from your walk, your lighthearted conversation, and nature will have you both feeling less stressed and more connected.
3. Cook (and eat) dinner together
When life gets busy, it’s way too easy to order takeout, eat on the couch, watch TV, and go straight to bed. But where is the connection in that? Instead, make an effort this week to cook a meal together and eat it sans an episode of Ted Lasso in the background. Keep in mind that whatever you decide to make doesn’t have to be complicated or fancy or romantic, it just matters that you are both intentional about cooking and enjoying it together. This makes dinner less of a chore and more of something you are doing to spend time with one another.
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4. Plan your next date
Sometimes weeks can go by without going on a date with your partner, and that can simply be because life has gotten too busy to remember to be intentional about it. Hear me when I say that it’s OK and more than that, it’s normal. If you are feeling a little disconnected from your partner, you’re probably due for one. Maybe you don’t have time this week to actually go on one, but you can plan a date and put it on the calendar. This will give you both something to look forward to and maybe even bring back some of those excited jittery butterflies in anticipation of it. If you’re stuck on what to do on your next date, pick a random idea from a date jar!
5. Give them a thoughtful compliment
How many times have you been so distracted by work, life, frustrations, or general responsibilities that you have walked right past your partner at home like two ships in the night? Or you’ve spent so much time venting during dinner that you were too distracted to notice what it is you really love and appreciate about them? We’ve all been there. Next time you are with your partner, stop and take a second to really look at them and tell them out loud what you appreciate about them. It can be as simple as “You’re so dang cute,” “You’re such a good listener,” “I love your laugh,” or “I love that you XYZ”.
6. Cuddle up
It sounds simple, but there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that cuddling can’t fix IMO. Had a bad day? Cuddle. Need to relax? Cuddle. Really miss your partner? Cuddle. And there is science to prove it: the physical contact that we get while cuddling releases oxytocin, the feel-good “love” hormone. So instead of laying on the couch or falling asleep next to each other, try cuddling to be with each other. Even with all the responsibilities that await you in your inbox or the text messages you have to respond to or the dishes in the sink that you need to get to, the moment you start cuddling with your partner, you won’t want to get up because cuddling can make you both feel comforted and connected.
7. Get intimate
And when cuddling leads to more… get your love on with your partner! Light a candle, play some music, and have a sexy night in. You can try a new sex position, play games, or whatever else your heart desires. Especially if it’s been a while (no shade!), this can help you feel closer to each other and keep the spark alive, which may have been missing while life got busy and other to-dos were your priority. Plus, just like cuddling releases oxytocin, the feel-good hormone, so does sex, so getting intimate with your partner could be just what you need to feel less stressed and closer to one another.