Growing up as young women, we’re inundated with media telling us there’s one real goal in life: find true love. From the princesses we dressed up as as kids to the rom-coms we obsessed over in high school, the same trope played out again and again. Someone is plucked from their sad, lonely, single existence and thrust into a world of sunshine and rainbows the moment they meet “the one.” As we get older, we realize that there are many other rewarding aspects of life that have nothing to do with romance, yet the early messaging still lingers in the back of our minds.
What none of those books or movies showed, though, was the chaos of being single in 2025. The endless Hinge dates. The string of weddings you attend solo. The slow trickle of friends pairing off until you’re the last single one in the bunch. Whether it’s completely by choice or because you just haven’t met “your person” yet, being the only single friend means you’re constantly bombarded with questions about your dating life—usually from people who don’t actually understand what modern dating is like. When you’re asked for the thousandth time, “So, are you seeing anyone?” it can be hard to say what you really think. That’s why we’re giving The Everygirls a platform to be completely honest. From needing more support to not wanting to talk about dating at all, here’s what single Everygirls wish they could tell their coupled-up friends.
They don’t need a partner to be whole
A common misconception many people in relationships have is that their single friends are constantly searching for their “other half.” In reality, they are complete, whole people regardless of their relationship status. They wish their friends in relationships understood that they don’t need someone else to determine their worth. Kira, 35, is open to dating right now but feels her friends don’t see her as valuable without a partner. She worries they view her being single as a “problem to be solved.” “When they say, ‘I don’t know why you’re single,’ it makes me feel like they’re searching for a reason or explanation,” she said. Bri, 40, who is also open to a relationship but not actively looking, agrees. “I’m not worried about dying alone, don’t worry about it for me,” she said. She’s perfectly comfortable and happy on her own, and she believes fear isn’t a valid reason for committing to another person. “I’m more worried about not living my life on my terms, and if no one meets my standards and is a true partner that I would enjoy and want, I’m totally fine never having a partner,” she said.
“I’m not worried about dying alone, don’t worry about it for me.”
Angie, 36, also struggles with her friends accepting her high standards. It took her years of therapy to reach a place where she’s happy with herself, and with that hard work came higher standards for what she wants in a partner. “I’m not searching for peace and joy outside of myself; rather, someone who I can share that with, and who can add to it,” she said. It can be difficult for people whose relationships are central to their lives to realize that their friends without long-term partners or children still have plenty of important things happening.
Their accomplishments are worth celebrating, too
So many of life’s biggest celebrations are connected to long-term relationships. When you don’t have a wedding, baby shower, or something similar on the calendar, people tend to overlook your accomplishments and milestones. Promotions, moving, or other big events not centered on relationships rarely get the same attention from friends.
Nia, 42, would love to meet someone, but in the age of dating apps, has little hope of meeting a partner IRL. As the only single one in her friend group, she feels her friends are waiting until her life looks similar to theirs instead of celebrating the difference. “I’m expected to celebrate all your traditional accomplishments, and too often it is not reciprocated for my accomplishments,” she said. “I feel treated as a less than at times.” Everyone wants to feel recognized for their hard work, and for single friends, it’s too often overlooked. Perry, 33, who is actively dating, relates to this too. She feels her friends will never understand how hard dating is right now, and too often it’s the only thing they’re interested in. “The main focus is always relationships and kids,” she said. “How about your friends who are crushing it in the other areas of their lives?”
Dana, who is actively dating for the first time since her eight-year relationship ended, wishes her friends were more supportive of her single life. “My life is still important just because I don’t have marriage and kids… I feel like I don’t get asked questions about myself or my life or how I actually am,” she said. “I am always so supportive of them, but feel I don’t get much back now.” She added that it can be “really fucking lonely sometimes.”
They don’t want your dating advice
It may come from a place of love, but whatever cliché you’re telling your friends, trust that they’ve already heard it a million times. Almost all of our readers said they’re sick of hearing “it’ll happen when you least expect it,” “you’ll meet someone,” and “you just have to put yourself out there.” Many Everygirls found advice from friends who haven’t dated in years condescending and unhelpful.
“The world is constantly putting pressure on women to prioritize finding a partner… the last place we need that pressure is from our friends.”
Mandy, 25, who is single by choice, knows this feeling all too well. “Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you know better about dating [or] partners,” she would tell her friends. “You may be too scared to be alone, but I’m not. You may determine your happiness by your relationship status, but I don’t. My goal is to end up with the love I deserve, not receiving love from anyone I encounter.” Jane, 32, is also tired of unwarranted advice from friends. “I don’t want advice, and my dating life is not your entertainment,” she said. “Of course, a bad date story every now and then is great, but it shouldn’t be your main point of entertainment every time we talk.” For her, dating isn’t just a funny story to be told over a glass of wine—it’s her actively trying to find someone to be with. It’s natural to want to hear what your friends are up to, including dating, but be mindful not to treat their lives like a reality TV show.
They feel left out
It’s normal for friendships to ebb and flow with life circumstances, but when you’re the last single friend, it can feel isolating. With no one to relate to and no plus-one to bring to couples’ events, many readers said they felt left out by their friends. Sometimes friends in relationships don’t invite single friends because they don’t want them to feel left out when it’s only couples. But the opposite often happens. Friendships should still offer mutual support, whether both people are single or partnered. “I wish I could tell them that they still need to show up for me in the same manner I show up for them,” Alisha, 44, said. “Just because they are partnered doesn’t mean the effort to maintain friendships should diminish.”
Single friends may even rely on friendships as a support system more than someone in a relationship. They don’t have a partner to lean on, so it’s especially important their friends are there. “Please check in on your single friends,” Jillian wants all friends in relationships to remember.
“You may determine your happiness by your relationship status, but I don’t.”
But friendship is a two-way street, and people in relationships may think their single friends aren’t interested in hanging out if that means the kids have to tag along or if it’s a takeout dinner at home instead of drinks out. Claire, 32, wants her friends to understand she’s still here for them and wants them to be there for her too. “I am happy to pick up a pizza and bring it to your place, even if your kids scream through dinner,” she said. “I will do a grocery run with you if I can see you.”
They don’t think you understand what dating is like
While most people in relationships braved the dating world at some point, it’s a completely different beast in 2025. In the age of dating apps, regular ghosting, and new trends like banksying popping up every week, dipping your toe into the dating pool isn’t for the weak. It’s exhausting both physically and mentally, and it can sometimes feel like a part-time job on top of your real one.
Many women struggle with friends assuming their lack of a relationship means they aren’t trying, but they wish others understood what dating is really like now. “You last dated at 24, you have no clue what it’s like at 34,” said Sarah. Mira, 39, wishes she could simply tell her friends that “the disappointing dating world can wear you down.”
Not to mention, when friends assume your lack of a partner is directly tied to how much effort you’re putting in, it places the blame on women and only reinforces society’s expectation that women must settle down, while men who aren’t in a relationship are seen as driven or ambitious in their careers. “Help shift the narrative,” said Bea, 35. “The world is constantly putting pressure on women to prioritize finding a partner and to start building a family, and that message can get quite loud and provoke deep loneliness. The last place we need that pressure is from our friends.” There are plenty of aspects of dating that are completely out of anyone’s control, and not being in a relationship isn’t evidence of inadequacy. “Singleness is not a failure, and being partnered has as much to do with luck as anything else,” said Anna, 30.
They love their freedom
While dating may be hard, being single comes with its perks. Almost every responder put how much they value the freedom that comes with not being in a relationship. Being single has allowed so many women to understand who they truly are without the influence of a partner. They can learn what they like, what they want to do with their life, and who they want to be without making the inevitable compromises that come with sharing a life with someone. That freedom can be incredibly empowering.
“I don’t want advice, and my dating life is not your entertainment.”
Isla, who is now single after a divorce, said, “I got married to escape a certain life, but only got trapped in another. I finally feel free.” Emma, 35, can relate. “You decide everything, no compromises. Your time is yours. Your path is yours. You can focus on yourself, without doing emotional labor for others,” she said.
If you want to pack up and move to start a new job, get a pet, sell your house, or make any other decision, big or small, you don’t have to consult anyone. You are solely in charge of your happiness and future, and there is so much power in that.
It can be isolating being the only single friend in the group, but that doesn’t mean your friendships can’t be just as solid. It’s important to recognize that even if your lives don’t look the same, you can still remain close. Friendship shouldn’t be built only on relatability. Being there for your friends—whether that’s comforting them after a horrible first date or standing next to them as a bridesmaid at their wedding—is key to long-lasting friendships. So, next time you’re about to offer to set your friend up with someone they’re “perfect for” (aka the only other single person you know), maybe ask them if that’s even what they want in the first place.
Lauren Blue, Assistant Editor
As an Assistant Editor for The Everygirl, Lauren ideates and writes content for every facet of our readers’ lives. Her articles span the topics of must-read books, movies, home tours, travel itineraries—and everything in between. When she isn’t testing the latest TikTok trend, she can be found scouring Goodreads for new releases to feature on the site.
Feature graphic images credited to: Emmanuel Torres | Dupe, Cora Pursley | Dupe
