Oral sex may seem self-explanatory, and for the most part, I suppose it is. While it can be great as an act of foreplay or as the standalone event of an evening (or any time of day, let’s be real), it may seem like there’s not much to say beyond the typical mouth-to-genital stimulation. A lot of us (myself included) exist somewhere in the dichotomy between either loving oral stimulation or not quite getting the hype. In fact, I’ve heard countless reports from folks who consider giving and receiving head to be, quite frankly, boring after a while. But, with the implementation of genuinely helpful oral sex tips and advice, that narrative can change fast.
Steamy AF oral sex tips can prevent boring sex from ever becoming a part of your day again. Whether you consider yourself a pro or would like to shake up the same-old-same-old, learning new oral sex tips, techniques, and options will always prove to be beneficial. Ahead, we’re sharing everything you need to know for a better experience, including how to prepare for oral sex and even some crucial mistakes to avoid.
How to make oral sex better
Wondering how to make oral sex better? The best experiences often come down to communication, curiosity, and being completely present with your partner. Here are some oral sex tips that can help make oral sex more pleasurable for everyone involved.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate. Talk about boundaries, preferences, and what you’re both excited to try before you get started. During oral sex, check-ins or words of encouragement can help you adjust your techniques and make the experience hotter and overall more enjoyable for both partners.
- Start slowly. Rather than rushing right into it, start with light kissing, teasing, or gentle stimulation of erogenous zones to build anticipation. Gradually increasing intensity gives your partner time to relax and can make sensations feel even better.
- Pay attention to each other’s reactions. Everyone enjoys different sensations, so let your partner’s verbal and non-verbal cues guide you. Changes in breathing, body language, or encouraging sounds can help you figure out which oral sex techniques are working best.
- Use your hands. Your mouth isn’t your only tool. Incorporating your hands can add variety, different stimulation, and make giving oral sex more comfortable.
- Don’t focus only on an orgasm. While hitting your climax can be a satisfying end, enjoying oral sex comes down to savoring the journey that gets you there. Enjoy the sensations and stimulation, and be present whether you’re close to an orgasm or not.
- Check in afterward. Like all sexual experiences, checking in with your partner after oral sex is a necessity. Having an open line of communication allows both partners to feel more comfortable throughout the experience.
How to prepare for oral sex
Preparing for oral sex is about more than just physical readiness—it also involves communication, comfort, and making sure both partners feel safe and confident. Good hygiene can help everyone feel more comfortable, so consider showering, freshening up, and taking care of any personal grooming preferences that help you feel your best. Just as important is having an open conversation beforehand about boundaries, preferences, and what you’re both comfortable trying. Clear consent and ongoing oral sex communication can make the experience more relaxed and enjoyable.
READ: 11 Pre-Sex Rituals That Will Instantly Set the Mood
It’s also important to think about oral sex safety before getting started. Using protection like condoms or dental dams can reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections and is part of practicing safer oral sex. Finding a comfortable position, making sure there’s enough space to move, and adjusting as needed can also make the experience more enjoyable. Whether you’re new to oral sex or looking to improve your routine, preparation can help create a more positive experience for everyone involved.
Oral sex tips and techniques that improve pleasure
1. Change up your position
Sex positions aren’t just for penetration. Mixing up something as simple as how your bodies are oriented in space may be the ticket to a little extra spice in your oral game. You’ve likely heard of or experienced the classic positions. For example, if the partner receiving has a vagina, a go-to tends to have them lying on their back with legs spread, which I affectionately call the missionary of oral sex. Another classic option is hovering over the giver’s face—lovingly referred to as facesitting. If the receiving partner has a penis, it’s most typical to see them standing while the giver kneels in front of them or lying on their back.
Things often become standard for a reason. In this case, the reason is that they work, but it can be fun to experiment with different positions. By doing this, you can enhance and change the sensations, angles, and visuals you typically experience when going down on your partner.
Check out these examples of oral sex positions! But remember, the best position is the one that feels good to you and your partner.
2. Add sex toys
I will shout the praises of sex toys every chance I get, and oral sex is no different. Getting a little toy action involved during head is a wonderful way to shake up the pace and play with an entirely new sensory element. On partners with a vagina, toys can be used for clitoral, vaginal, and nipple stimulation to enhance and complement what’s already happening with the tongue and fingers. On partners with a penis, using a typical vibrator can take a bit more creativity (but can still up the pleasure game)! While they make toys specifically for penises, simply placing a vibrator at the base of the shaft can add an intense sensation to enhance the licking, sucking, or bobbing motions you’ve already got going on.
Asking your partner to use a toy on you while you go down on them can make the experience even more pleasurable for both parties. They get to watch you feel good while you make them feel good. It’s truly a winning situation all around! If you have a favorite sex toy in your rotation already, try it out. Or, use it as an excuse to try a new one. Trust me when I say that you can never have too many.
3. Make some noise
I don’t just mean moans of pleasure or words of affirmation for your partner—though you should totally let them know what is and isn’t working for you! I’m talking about humming. I’m talking about whispers. Making noise during oral stimulation can mimic the vibrations of a toy, but feels—dare I say—hotter? Audible exclamations of enjoyment from both partners can deepen your connection and remind you that your partner enjoys making you feel good.
When I can tell that my partner is into what he’s doing, it helps me relax and give in to the pleasurable sensations instead of getting too deep in my head. Another tip is to ask your partner to tell you when they’re approaching climax and hum or moan through it with them. It will heighten their pleasure and encourage them to reach that oh-so-good peak… and it will likely turn you on more, too.
4. Incorporate eye contact
There is something so erotic and deep about looking into each other’s eyes while giving or receiving oral sex. So try glancing at your partner now and then or holding eye contact for a little bit of a sexy tease to let them know you’re enjoying it. This can make the experience so much more intimate, heighten your awareness, and keep you in the present moment—all of which can lead to an orgasm.
Plus, looking at your partner helps you gauge whether you should take things up a notch or slow down as the giver, depending on how comfortable or into it they seem. Trust us, even a little bit of eye contact can turn good oral sex into toe-curling oral sex.
5. Play with temperature and texture
Heat up your oral sex by cooling things down a bit! Incorporate temperature play by drinking some ice water or holding an ice cube in your mouth immediately before going down on your partner will produce a tingling sensation in a thrilling way. You can even experiment with warm water for the opposite effect. This is a great way to begin exploring kink if that’s something you’re interested in.
I’ve often heard of people using honey and whipped cream to play with texture and flavor; however, I recommend always going for a flavored lube instead. Food products can mess with PH balances—burning and itching sensations are no fun. Flavored lube can provide that sticky, slippery sensation without any concern of infection later! I’m all for oral sex tips that maximize pleasure and thrill with maximum safety.
6. Be a tease
Start slow and really savor the experience. Teasing can be deeply intimate, and IMO there is nothing sexier than anticipation. Starting with their neck, work your way down to their chest, stomach, and thighs (or any erogenous zone) in slow motion. Kiss, lick, and suck everywhere except exactly where they want you to. Use your fingers and toys (whatever works for you and your partner) to deliberately bring your partner to the brink of desire. This will heighten the pleasurable sensations once you finally make contact with the penis or the clitoris.
Breath is also an amazing tool when it comes to teasing. Allowing your kisses and warm breath to sustain the sense of anticipation around your partner’s most sensitive areas will drive them crazy in the best way. You may also want to work edging into your oral routine to make that eventual release 10x more euphoric.
7. Add lube
As mentioned before, lube isn’t just used for penetration. There are lubes that are specifically created for oral sex because incorporating them can make the experience more pleasurable for both partners. While good ‘ole saliva will always be the blueprint, it isn’t always as reliable as we’d like it to be for the giver. Whether it’s just a case of dry mouth from the giver or vaginal dryness, incorporating lube makes stimulation more consistent and smooth. Our recommendation? Grab a few different flavored lubes and keep them in rotation. Cake flavored? Watermelon? Vanilla? Mint? Who knows, it might just become the oral sex non-negotiable you didn’t know you needed.
8. Use your hands
Oral sex typically involves, well, your mouth. But if you’re not also using your hands, you’re missing out. Both the giver and receiver can use their hands or fingers in unison with the mouth to produce even more pleasure. Try stimulating the clitoris and the vagina at the same time, or using a hand at the base of the penis while also using your mouth. You can also use your hands to grab a toy, or tease erogenous zones like the nipples, nape of the neck, or inner thighs. The possibilities are endless when you’re hands-free, so talk to your partner about how to incorporate them for even more pleasure.
9. Ask what feels good
One of the easiest ways to improve giving oral sex is to ask your partner what feels good. Everyone has different preferences, and there is no single technique that works for everyone. Simple questions, encouragement, and honest feedback can make the experience more comfortable and enjoyable for both partners. Open oral sex communication helps you understand what your partner likes while creating a more connected experience.
10. Try different rhythms
Changing up your rhythm can help keep oral sex feeling exciting and personalized. Experimenting with different speeds, patterns, and levels of intensity allows you and your partner to discover what feels best together. Whether you’re learning oral sex techniques or simply trying to make an existing routine more enjoyable, staying flexible and paying attention to feedback can help you find what works.
“While hitting your climax can be a satisfying end, enjoying oral sex comes down to savoring the journey that gets you there.”
11. Pay attention to body language
Not all communication happens through words. Your partner’s body language can provide helpful clues about what they are enjoying, from changes in breathing and movement to facial expressions and other reactions. Paying attention to these signals can help you adjust in the moment and create a more responsive experience for both the giver and receiver.
Common oral sex mistakes to avoid
Even with the best intentions, a few common mistakes can make oral sex feel less enjoyable or comfortable. Being aware of these pitfalls can help you and your partner have a more connected experience.
1. Going too fast immediately
Rushing into intense stimulation can make it harder to build anticipation and understand what your partner enjoys. Starting slowly and paying attention to their reactions can create a more pleasurable experience.
2. Assuming every partner likes the same thing
Everyone has different preferences, so what worked well with one partner may not feel the same for another. Stay curious and communicate about what feels good.
3. Ignoring communication
Avoiding conversations about likes, dislikes, and boundaries in the bedroom can lead to misunderstandings. Open oral sex communication helps both partners feel more comfortable and confident.
4. Focusing only on orgasm
Treating orgasm as the only goal can add unnecessary pressure, especially for those who struggle to orgasm. Enjoying the overall experience, intimacy, and connection can make oral sex more satisfying.
5. Using too much pressure
More intensity isn’t always better. Paying attention to feedback and adjusting your approach can help you find what feels best.
6. Sticking to the same technique every time
Repeating the same routine can make things feel predictable, so experiment with different oral sex techniques, rhythms, and approaches.
7. Ignoring comfort or positioning
An uncomfortable position can distract from the experience for either partner. Adjusting positions can help everyone stay relaxed.
8. Skipping discussions about oral sex safety
Oral sex can still carry the risk of sexually transmitted infections. Practicing safer oral sex, including discussing protection options, is an important part of sexual health.
9. Being afraid to ask for feedback
Guessing what your partner needs can make things harder than necessary. Simple questions about what feels good (and what doesn’t!) can improve the experience for both the giver and receiver.
Sydney Cox, Contributing Writer
Sydney Cox is a Chicago-based writer and intimacy coordinator who is passionate about exploring the complexities of human connections and teaching readers to advocate for themselves. Sydney’s work has been featured in various publications, where they aim to foster open and honest conversations.
Jenna Piotrowicz, Former Editorial Assistant
As a former Editorial Assistant for The Everygirl, Jenna assisted the team with content creation. She sourced products and images and worked behind the scenes to support The Everygirl in uploading and updating content.
