Living Well: What to Do When You Don’t Yet Know Your Purpose

Living Well Columnist:
Jess Constable

Photography and Styling:
Elizabeth Schneider

When people bring up the subject of life purpose, there tends to be three types of people: the I totally know what my purpose is and I’m loving it people, the I don’t really think or care much about purpose or all that hoo-ha people, and the I really, really want to know what my purpose is but I haven’t the foggiest clue people.

If you fall into the third category, there is no need to fear! Finding your purpose does not require much effort on your part. More often than not, purpose is revealed to people who are open, willing, and able. So rather than be seeking, stressing, and wishing for that wonderful “a-ha moment,” just relax and give yourself some credit for getting this far. Many people never even stop to consider that they might have a purpose, or they lack the guts to go after it even if they do know what they are meant to do.

Now that we’ve put the worries on hold, I am happy to say that there are three things that you can do right this very moment to help you start to discover your own unique purpose in life.

1. Read books.

One of the best places to start when it comes to purpose is reading good, helpful books. Two of my personal favorites are The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (it’s pretty dense, so feel free to focus on the second habit most of all) and The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (a much simpler, poetic depiction of purpose).

Or, if you have an industry in mind that might be linked to your purpose, reading biographies of successful people in that field could give you a glimpse into what that world is like. Their challenges and triumphs will also help you keep in mind that even if you know your purpose, all will not be rosy on the journey. Even purpose-filled lives and careers are filled with unexpected hardships, twists, turns, highs, and lows.

Overall, the books you read right now can help you reflect on your life and create a vision for what you truly want. More often than not by taking time to reflect on your life vision, your purpose could be found lurking beneath those same intentions and goals.

2. Happily help other people.

When it comes to life purposes, there seems to be a common theme. The one thing that almost all purposes share is the desire to help other people. So, why not think about what you genuinely love to do that also helps other people? It doesn’t have to be your exact purpose, but by taking the focus off of yourself and investing it in service, you might just find that those actions lead you to your specific purpose in some unforeseen way.

Consider volunteering, doing free consulting, or writing a blog to help other people with something that you love. After all, if something you try ends up hitting a chord within yourself and others, you might just find people asking to hire you. Or maybe you make that one great connection that lands you a position somewhere that you find deeply fulfilling.

3. Discover your strengths.

If you’d like to get a bit more specific to what your unique contribution to the world could be, consider asking your friends and family about your unique talents. It’s very easy for us to discredit our own gifts because we don’t value what comes easiest to us. But the people we know and love can often clearly see what we do effortlessly which could be of value for others.

Also, feel free to take surveys and introspection assessments that help probe into your strengths. My favorite tool for comes with the book, Now, Discover Your Strengths by Malcolm Gladwell. With every book comes a unique key code that allows you to take a truly in-depth Strengths Assessment that can bring very interesting talents and traits to light. For example, once I recognized my talents are helping others figure out what they are good at (they call this Individualization), Positivity, Connectedness, and more, it was easy for me to see why I was uniquely made to help people design lives with intention.

By studying your own strengths, you can first learn how to hone them in your current life roles, and even transition into a career or purpose that strikes to the core of what you are meant to do. Because more often than not, what we discover be our purpose often is not “jewelry making” or “teaching second grade math” or even “being a nurse.” Usually the core of any purpose has to do with sharing love and helping other people improve their lives in some meaningful method that we are uniquely capable of through our talents and practice.

The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. This post was contributed by Jess Constable, an accessories designer in Chicago and owner of Jess LC. When she’s not designing, you can find her blogging about designing a life with intention at Makeunder My Life.

jess constable elizabeth schneider

Elise Dean

this is really helpful, thanks Jess!
Ksasek79

Hi girls, went on a job interview on Thursday at my favorite bicycle shop and got hired on the spot! Seeing I’ve been out of the workforce for 25 years I’m a little nervous but so excited! My family, sisters and niece say its perfect for me. My story, my oldest son was diagnosed with ADD two years ago at the age of 23. His whole educational life was like a roller coaster ride. Teachers telling us to have him tested, doctors telling us nothing’s wrong, he’s just lazy, Back and forth between teachers and doctors for eighteen years! Because he didn’t have the hyperactivity aspect of add and was very intelligent it was harder to diagnose back then. I started bike riding because my husband and sons loved it and we could do it as a family. I found myself riding every day because it was an outlet to everything that was going on in my life. It was freeing. Like I said before cycling is great for the body, mind and soul. Then I started watching the Tour de France and was amazed at what these cyclists do everyday, which led me to reading some of their autobiographys and subscribing to cycling magazines. What I found was articles on cycling and add and that probably half or more of the peloton is ADD. Then I read an article about the Naperville school system implementing a physical education program that put children with learning disabilities in a morning pys. Ed class and they did better in school during the day and also raised their grades. So anyhow, my son is doing well and I will definitetly be purchasing your recommended reads for the whole family. I can’t wait to start my job, my foot is in the door and we will see what great things can come from it. I have a few ideas! Thank you, Thank you Thank you for all your great posts and inspiration and keep them coming!

http://twitter.com/threebrooklyn jackie

This is so inspiring! And I am so happy for you! How is it going?

http://twitter.com/CaitPBrown Caitlin Brown

love Jess. love this.
http://www.ThePeakofTresChic.com/ Sam E Penner

Love this post! Lots of great tips. I was always one of the people that fit in to that third category, and it wasn’t until after college and working for a few years that I finally began to discover it. It’s a process!
http://www.heycaryl.com/ Caryl

Great tips Jess! The Alchemist is one of my favorite books. Hugely insightful. I’ve red Marcus Buckingham’s, Now, Discover Your Strengths and did his assessment test. I think I need to go back and reread it. See what nuggest I might have missed. Caryl via http://www.heycaryl.com
http://twitter.com/EmployableMom Jordan

Love this advice; I’m doing all these things right now. Also, strengthsfinders is AMAZING! I recommend it to everyone.
Sentrell

This is great advice! I love Make Under My Life.
diane @ a spot of whimsy

beautifully written, jess. as always!
http://littlelg.tumblr.com Lauren

As someone who is still figuring out their purpose, this is really really helpful.
Alexandra Safran

this is seriously the truest piece of advice I’ve ever read! way to be inspirational and REAL.

alexandrasafran.blogspot.com
Alexandra Safran

I also recommend reading steal like an artist by austin kleon! easy read and very insightful!
http://twitter.com/finerfeelingskc Monica Rose

Great insight! Along with your advice in #3, I would also suggest StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath. This helped me understand and focus on my strengths, and helped a lot through the interview process right out of undergrad.
http://publicistsinpeplum.blogspot.com/ Publicistsinpeplum

LOVE IT. needed this today.
Jacquie (Australia)

Great post. I LOVE the print too…so much so that I’ve just ordered it & two others for myself as well as one for a gift. Beautiful! x
SarahPickell

Love this! I realized I have most of the books mentioned in my library and I just haven’t read them because I didn’t think I needed to. Also, as a recent college graduate, I thought I knew what I wanted to do after graduating, but I’m starting to realize what I studied wasn’t fulfilling my purpose. So hear goes to discovering my purpose!
http://www.beautyparler.ca/ Monica

Just discovered your blog & loving it!! Off to read the rest:)
Jolie Jouel

Great tips. I especially like the “help other people” advice. People who are truly talented at what they do aren’t afraid of helping someone else.

joliejouel.blogspot.com
Tiffany

This was a very inspirational and comforting article. Being in my early 20′s sometimes everything seems so complicated and vague. I trust though that the truth really is that eventually life shows you what you’re made for.
Jess LC

Thank you all so, so much for your feedback and for taking the time to read this column. : )

I love being able to share here with you!
Karlita TPB

thank you very much Jess! for this post and the other about the same topic on your blog… You know, we talked and I said Interior Design was going to be my way to help people, but I have been thinking that probably that wasn’t meant for me, I like it but I have found that it doesn’t come naturally to me, it is not one of my strengths, it has never been… so I am thinking… should we fight to get better at what we think we want even though it doesn’t represent a strength? or should we look for our strengths as you said above and follow them?
Jess LC

Karlita, thank you for your comment! I don’t think there is a simple answer to that. As the post here and the one on MML mentioned, I don’t think that it really matters “what” you do as much as it does “how” you do it.

But if you are looking to make a living from something, there is going to be a balance of learning the industry and constant practice, mixed with talent to really make it work.

If you aren’t sure where you land in interior design, you can keep going forward with it if you want to, and keep an open mind to other opportunities. If you notice something else comes easily to you that can help others in a more meaningful way. Remember, its the “how” that is most important in your life the “what you do” can change over the years.
http://littleroominthenorth.blogspot.com/ Laura

Love this. Although- what to do when you think you know your purpose, just not how you can achieve it? That’s definitely my position right now… I guess a little faith, some hard work and hopefully I’ll get there
xxx
www.inner-outerbeautymail.com

The life purpose. Always on my mind. Great post. Just found your website and will return!
Ellen Chancey

Thank you thank you thank you! I did a strengths finder test for my job and I found it very illuminating for me. I’m in this stage of learning about who I want to be and what I want to give (not just do) with my career, so this advice is great!
mscanciller

Thank you, thank you, thank you for speaking to this. Unfortunately, there are many out there who belong to the last group. Suffering in silence like I am everyday is torturous. I can hardly wait for the day when I can say that I’ve finally found “it.” Or, something like it. But, life is funny that way. You never truly know what “it” is until you’re actually in it. I hope to find more inspiration from your personal site.
Marianne

I personally found a lot of good information from this book/ strengths assessment: http://www.strengthsfinder.com/home.aspx I am now taking their leadership assessment. The book comes with a unique code. The assessment breaks down your strengths, the book goes into more detail, and it also gives you an action list so you can build upon your strengths even more so.