Summer Fling 101: Your Ultimate Guide to a Flirty Summer Without the Feelings

summer fling"
summer fling
Source: @shvetsa | Pexels
Source: @shvetsa | Pexels

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a summer girl to my core or because everyone looks better with a tan, but I firmly believe there’s nothing hotter than a summer fling. Because despite what Justin Timberlake proclaimed in his ‘06 bop “Summer Love,” a summer fling doesn’t have to lead to more come cuffing season. And to be quite honest, there’s an underrated beauty in that.

When both sides understand that the relationship isn’t going anywhere but choose to make the most of it anyway, that’s where the magic happens. So while a fling may be brief, it can still be memorable and special all the same.

Whether you’re gearing up for a whirlwind summer romance or have your eye on someone cute, you’ve come to the right place. With these six tips, you can make the most out of your summer fling and make this season one for the books. Keep scrolling to learn more.

Tips for making the most out of your summer fling

1. Make your rom-com fantasies a reality

If you’re looking for a sign to live out your rom-com fantasies, this is it. Take advantage of your summer fling and go on all those adventurous summer dates depicted in everyone’s favorite summer romance films (looking at you, Grease and The Notebook). It doesn’t matter what you and your fling do together—all that matters is that you get outdoors and go on as many summer adventures as possible because now is definitely not the time to Netflix and chill.

Summer Fling Date Ideas:

  • Visit a carnival
  • Go on an ice cream date
  • Take a sunset stroll
  • Go to a drive-in
  • Go stargazing
  • Take a bike ride together
  • Have a picnic
  • Watch a fireworks show

2. Keep it casual

When it comes to flings, it’s all about keeping it casual. While cute seasonal dates are perfect for a summer romance, the more traditional ones (think: a romantic dinner, home-cooked meal, etc.) are not. Traditional dates will only send mixed messages to both of you and make the relationship seem more serious than it actually is. Instead, embrace the freedom of a fling and focus on living it out with cheesy, adventurous dates, like the ones mentioned above.

Embrace the freedom of a fling and focus on living it out.

3. Set boundaries

If you both know this is a short-term thing, it’s also important to set some boundaries. Case in point? You’ll probably want to avoid introducing them to your parents and family members. After all, the last thing you want to hear is: “What happened to your friend?” at Thanksgiving. Of course, who you introduce your fling to is ultimately your choice at the end of the day—just be mindful about how easily the lines between a casual and serious relationship can get blurred once you do this, though.

4. Get adventurous

When you’re committed to someone or something for the long haul, you’re more likely to play it safe—but that’s not the case with a summer fling. There’s no pressure, and you’re free to go as big and as bold as you want. So, get adventurous, step out of your comfort zones, and try new things together. This could be something innocuous like rock climbing or naughty and daring like skinny dipping or trying a new sex position. Give yourself permission to step into and try on a new persona for a brief period; you won’t regret it.

5. Hang out with friends

It goes without saying, but a fling should never come between your friendships. Despite the fact that it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a summer romance, make sure you’re still making time for the other important relationships in your life as well. This will help keep the fling more casual and make the time you do spend together all the more magical.

6. Think of the fling as a chapter in your story

Weirdly, there’s something kind of comforting about having an expiration date. Because unlike a traditional, long-term relationship, you can focus on the here and now and on making unforgettable memories. If you ever find yourself getting caught up in the end date, remind yourself that your fling is simply a chapter in your larger story, which is why you should absolutely make the most of it and enjoy it while it lasts.

What to do if you accidentally catch feelings

It’s easy to accidentally catch feelings for someone you’re spending lots of time and hooking up with. After all, sex releases oxytocin, which promotes feelings of love and attachment. So, if you notice feelings start to pop up, blame it on biology, then acknowledge and accept them before letting your partner know where you stand now and what you want moving forward.

Be mindful about how easily the lines between a casual and serious relationship can get blurred.

Be sure to pay attention to your partner’s response. They likely care about you and won’t want to let you go, but this doesn’t mean they’re on the same page as you. And all parties involved should be happy and in agreement with the terms of the relationship. So if you think your feelings aren’t reciprocated, do yourself a favor and stop seeing them. Forcing down your emotions and pretending they’re not there will only hurt you in the end. You need to protect your heart, and there’s nothing wrong with the way you feel. Spend the rest of the summer with your girls, and trust that in time, the right person will come along and everything will work out just fine.

How to go separate ways on good terms

It’d be nice if summer could last forever, but alas, all good things must come to an end. To part on good terms with your summer fling, establish an end date upfront. This could be when one of you goes back to school, the Tuesday after Labor Day, or any other set-in-stone date. Then, use this date to plan something fun and memorable for your final days together. Likewise, be sure to plan something with your besties for the immediate aftermath; they’ll serve as a nice distraction and make the post-fling blues easier to deal with.

That said, after you go your separate ways, it’s important to cease communication altogether. Staying in contact with your fling will only make things messy for both of you, and someone’s bound to get hurt. Don’t give the fling a slow death; instead, cut the cord and be done with it. This is the best thing you can do for yourself, and in time, you’ll look back on this summer fling fondly.